


Partners in Crime

by ZephyrWhittaker



Category: Homestuck
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-03-17
Updated: 2015-03-18
Packaged: 2018-03-18 06:42:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,882
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3559973
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ZephyrWhittaker/pseuds/ZephyrWhittaker
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>If it's not bad enough that Terezi has to deal with Karkat in the waking world, she also has to deal with him as a criminal that constantly slips out of her grasp in dreams.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I'm sorry if this is kind of rough. I haven't written anything in a while. ;n;

“And do you, Mr. Lemonsnout, remember anything suspicious happening Thursday morning at around 2 A.M.? Disturbing noises, perhaps? Crashes, bangs, screams?”  
The witness shakes his head. “No ma’am. I was asleep up until I heard the window break, like I said before.”  
You put a hand up to your chin, your back to the witness. “Likely story, Lemonsnout, but I feel like there’s something you’re not telling the court. It’s almost as if..” At that moment, you spin around dramatically and point at the yellow fiend.  
“You have a connection to the crime!”  
The whole courtroom gasps, and even Lemonsnout looks astounded. You smell pungent, rotten blueberry sweat rolling down his face, and you know you’ve got him now. His fear tastes almost as great as your success.  
“Miss Pyrope, I.. I promise, I was home alone that night!”  
“You may have been. But what about the week before? Have you spoken to Karkat recently? Some anonymous sources tell me that you and him are pretty chummy.”  
Lemonsnout shakes his dirty, deceitful head. His yellow skin reminds you of the smell of a dirty gym sock stained with sweat. “Of course not. I don’t associate with low-blooded scum. All they do is fight and murder one another, and I think Mr. Vantas’s actions only enforce what I’m saying. Don’t you?”  
You have no time to listen to what this liar has to say. If all goes well, there will be two hangings tonight.   
“Thank you, Mister Lemonsnout. You may go for now.”  
The diabolical dragon slinks off stage, trying to look as though your accusations didn’t pierce him through the heart like a sharpened strawberry-and-coconut cane.  
You stand tall and take a deep breath to recompose yourself.  
“Karkat Vantas, you said that Lemonsnout was a close friend, did you not?”  
“I’ve answered that question ten times already. Don’t you have a tablet that you’re writing things down on? Don’t beat a dead horse any longer than you have to.”  
You scowl, sticking out your lower lip. It was always hard to get information out of Mr. Vantas, solely because he was so nasty. “I’ve asked the question ten times. You’ve managed to avoid answering it every single time. So, you can answer and maybe pull yourself out of this mess, or you can go down without a fair trial.”  
You can feel him let out a deep, exasperated breath and you just know he rolled his silver eyes at you. “Fine, fine. Yes, Lemonsnout and I are friends. I don’t see how that’s going to get me out of this crater of a hole that I dug.”  
“Did Lemonsnout act as an accomplice in any way?”  
He bites the inside of his cheek, clearly mulling over the thought.   
“Did he act as an accomplice, Mr. Vantas?” You’d made your way to where he was seated by now and had both hands on his desk. You were leaning in so far that you could practically smell the sweet, cherry syrup in his veins. You actually thought you could smell it on his cheeks.  
He grimaces at you and folds his arms in defiance. “No. I killed Mrs. Rouge all on my own, and completely out of malice. She had it all coming for being such an annoying and worthless waste of space.”  
At this point, Mr. Rouge rose from his seat and began charging down the aisle, all the while spewing profanities at Karkat. The rest of the courtroom burst out into worried, nervous chatter. You had to be the one to raise your voice and regain order, and that included putting Mr. Rouge in a headlock.  
Once everything had calmed down, you straightened the angry matesprit and gave him a sympathetic, soothing look. “I promise you, Mrs. Rouge’s death will not be taken lightly.”  
You turn your attention to the rest of the crowd and raise your voice. “Justice will be served!”  
Spinning around and waltzing back to where the guilty, filthy Karkat was seated, you bang your cane on his desk. “You, Mr. Karkat Vantas, will be sentenced to a hanging, effective immediately!”  
Damn, he was good. He didn’t even flinch as you pulled him to his feet and grabbed his arm, steering him toward your execution chamber. “You’re all dismissed! We will try Ms. Plush Periwinkle for her disgusting theft habits tomorrow.”  
As you walk Karkat to the edge of the courtroom, you can’t help but feel a tinge of something. Guilt? Sadness? You know you should be impartial to all members of a case, but you can’t help but wish there was something you could do to get him out of this mess.   
As you close the door to the execution chamber behind you and lock it tightly, he pulls free of your grasp and stands in the corner of the room. “A hanging, I presume?”  
You nod, grabbing some rope from a bin at the edge of the room. “That’s how all trials end, Vantas. You know that.”  
“It’s ridiculous. You even said it yourself that you have doubts about who’s really the guilty one in this case. Why not just lock me up and let me rot in a cell until the truth comes out?”  
You put the rope around his neck, but let your hands linger there. “What is the truth, Karkat?” You can’t help but breathe in his sweet, aromatic candied blood while standing so close to him.  
“We both know I’m not guilty, but the court doesn’t know that, and neither does Mr. Rouge. Lemonsnout is the only one besides myself who knows the real story, and it’s going to stay that way. I just wish you could get me off of the hook here.”  
You bite your lip and look (or, smell) up at him. What’s he getting at here? “I don’t think it’s possible. You’re guilty. You’ve got to face your execution, Karkat.”  
He abruptly closed the space between your bodies and leaned down to murmur in your ear. “I could make it worth your time if you said I got away. It would be so easy to say that you left the door unlocked.”   
You scowl at him, your face tinged with teal. Is it hot in here?  
“You know I don’t like you being here. You’re a lowblood. People blame you for everything. This is the third time you’ve been in court in two weeks.”  
“Think about it. I’d be out of this shithole of a town faster than you could believe. The best part is that everyone will think I’m dead. I get a fresh start, you get to work less.. it’s a win-win. You’d have to be fucking mental to refuse this.”  
“So, working less is why it’s worth my while? Have you forgotten, Mr. Vantas, that I am very good at what I do and I enjoy it immensely?”  
He shook his head. “I know that. I haven’t told you what you’d get in return.”  
“Get it over with, then. Executions don’t usually take this long.”  
“You’re a smart woman, Pyrope. Do you know why?”  
“I can name several reasons,” you say, raising your brows. “Why?”  
“You always lock the door behind you.”  
With that, Karkat Vantas, the most wanted troll in town, pressed his lips against yours and it didn’t take long before the two of you were lying in a pile of clothes.

You wake up with a gasp. God, you have got to stop dreaming about Karkat Vantas.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Terezi has to deal with Karkat in person after her dream. It's a total disaster.

After waking, you find it hard to focus on anything but your dream. It was so clear to you now that Karkat obviously was guilty. He had used stupid, attractive self as an advantage to aid in his escape, and it worked very well. You spend a couple minutes beating yourself up. Even though this only happened in a dream, you decide that it can never happen again. You eventually manage to sling on your soft, black robe and stumble, still sleep-dazed, out of your block in search of the coffee maker.

Upon entering the room, you find Rose arguing with Dave about something. It sounded pretty stupid, but once you got a lukewarm cup of what could possibly be the shittiest coffee in the universe, you decided to head over and join in their conversation.

“Look, all I’m saying is—“

“No, Dave. You’ve done enough this week to last a lifetime already.”

You butt in: “Done enough of what?”

Rose offers you a slight smile in greeting while Dave practically jumps out of his skin. He must not have been focused on anything besides Rose. As he turns to look at you, the horrified look on his face makes you giggle. “Looking smooth as always, coolkid.”

“In my defense, what you did was completely unwarranted for. You can’t just sneak up on me like some kind of buff tiger hunter and expect me not to be a little… surprised.”

While you have no idea what a tiger is, you assume it’s some kind of highly revered earth beast and move on. “So, what were you two talking about?”

“Dave wants to raid Karkat’s room and take all of his romance books. He plans on watching to see how long it takes before he has withdrawals.”

“Come on, it’d be fucking hilarious. I bet Terezi sides with me.”

On a normal day, you would. However, you want as much distance from Karkat as you can get. You understand that he didn’t actually do anything and that it was just a dream, but you still feel like you should avoid contact. After all, this is the third dream you’ve had about him this week.

“Well, actually, I have a lot of, er… other things to do today, Dave. Sorry.” You try your best to look apologetic.

Rose didn’t say anything, but she folded her arms across her chest and smirked, signifying that she had won. Dave looked crushed.

“I’m gonna go, guys. Tell me if you go through with it, Dave!”

With that, you rush out of the room. Since you weren’t paying attention to your surroundings, you accidentally turn a corner and smack right into something. Whatever it was, it was faintly warm and kind of soft. You calm yourself down and feel at the object as you take a big sniff of your surroundings.

However, within a moment of smelling that sweet, cherry-red scent, you already know what—or who—you ran into. And he doesn’t seem like a very happy camper.

He takes a step or two back and you can smell the disapproving look on his face, from the way his lips curved downward to the wrinkled crease between his eyebrows. However, since you don’t say anything, his face softens a bit. “Geez, Terezi, what’s up with you? You’re usually more alert. Did you catch a bug or something?”

You can’t think to say anything. You’re pretty sure you’re just frozen there, gawking at him like he’d grown an extra set of horns. You flash back to the dream you had the other night and feel heat rising to your face. Oh, God, you’re blushing now too.

“Terezi?”

Oh, right. He still wanted an answer. You panic and try to speak, but all that comes out is a pathetic squeak.

“Wow, you are sick. I didn’t know that you could even catch a cold. I mean, you’ve probably licked everything from this god-forsaken meteor to Alternia. I figured your immune system would be strong enough to break a record or something. Especially since your blood is higher on the hemospectrum…”

Okay, good. He was lecturing. While he spouted what seemed to be an endless string of shit from his mouth, you decided that going with the idea that you’re sick would be the easiest way out for you, especially since you don’t feel like telling him that you’re just a little bashful towards him because of the dreams you’ve been having about him recently.

“….I mean, you’ve licked the floor in the ablution chamber before, and if that doesn’t say something about your immune system, I don’t know what does. And that’s not all you’ve licked, I’m sure, since I only listed things I’ve seen you put your mouth on..”

You cough loudly, hoping that it sounds convincing. It must have sounded okay, because Jabby McBlabberpants finally stopped running his mouth.

You were really nervous around him, so it wasn’t hard to fake a weak, raspy voice. Your voice was pretty raspy on a normal day, anyhow. “Karkat, shut up! I’m sorry I ran into you, okay? My nose is too stuffed up for me to smell properly.” For added effect, you sniff occasionally and try to breathe only through your mouth.

He nods, looking satisfied. “That’s pretty evident, but thanks for the late confirmation.”

“Yeah, yeah.” You clear your throat. “I’m gonna go, okay? Being sick sure has made me, uh…” You try to think of what trolls need when they’re sick. “…tired?”

You don’t really wait for a reply and push past him toward your room. You can feel him watching you as you try and get away from him, but you aren’t focused on where you’re going again and—you smack right into a wall.

Ironically enough, you manage to hit your nose straight-on. You sink to the ground and cup your hands over it, only to feel something warm seep onto them. Great, you made your nose bleed, and now you really can’t smell anything.

“Uuuuuuuugghhhh…!” You bump your forehead against the wall and let it rest there as you plug your nostrils with your shirt. You’ve only spent about half an hour awake, but you wish you could crawl under a big rock and die. Could this day get any worse?

“Hey, Terezi, are you alright?” Oh, right. Karkat definitely watched you smack into a wall. Why did he have to be so sympathetic? You wouldn’t care if he just left you here to stumble around aimlessly and bleed everywhere. That’s what friends are for.

He sounded like he was to your left, so you look over your right shoulder when you talk. “Yep, I’m fine. Right as rain! Don’t worry about me and just… go away or something.”

You hear him lightly scuffing his shoes on the floor. “If you’re fine, then you give me permission to tell you that that was literally one of the most staged-looking falls I’ve ever seen. Honestly, you walked directly into the wall, bounced back a little, and just fell to your knees and thumped your head against the wall. It looked so pathetic.”

You wrinkle your nose at him, which turns out to be a mistake since it hurt so badly. “Shut up, Karkat. I know I looked stupid. Now just leave me alone so I can go back to my block.” You rise to your feet, but since your nose is completely plugged with the ends of your shirt, you can’t smell anything but blood. You feel more blind now than you ever did.

“Terezi, don’t be so fucking thick-headed. Everyone knows that you lack even the slightest smidgeon of common sense, but I think you know that I won’t let you just wander around in the hallway when you’re sick.” Upon saying that, he lightly takes hold of your arm and pulls you up.

You scowl, but there’s not much you can do at this point. He’s right, and if you don’t accept his offer you’ll probably just make a fool of yourself again. You don’t say a word as he guides you to your block.

You open the door and start to head inside, but almost run into the door in the process. Of course Karkat noticed and let himself in, without even asking, and guided you to your bathroom. Your nose hurt badly enough that you let him do whatever.

He closes the door once the two of you are inside and heads over to the sink where he left you. “Do you think it’s still bleeding?”

You’re pretty sure it’s still bleeding. But the less of a mess you are, the less he can stay. “No. It feels pretty dry.”

“Lean over the sink and unplug your nose then. It’s not good to get all that blood soaked into your shirt.”

You do as he says and notice a little bit of blood trickling out of your nose upon unplugging it. You hear an aggravated sigh, followed by rustling. Was Karkat going through your stuff?

“What are you doing?” You ask, a little bit of panic in your voice. Your house was a mess, but if he’s going through the stuff in your bathroom, of all places, then that was embarrassing.

“Looking for some goddamned paper towels or toilet paper or something. It’s looking pretty bleak so far though. What the hell, Terezi? Why don’t you have toilet paper in your bathroom?”

You shrug. “It’s somewhere. Why are you looking for it?”

“Because obviously, someone’s got to find something to plug up your nose with. Look, while I go on a fucking scavenger hunt through the depths of this packsqueakbeast’s paradise, try to wash the blood off of yourself.”

You sigh discontentedly at him but oblige. In the background, you hear Karkat rummaging through whatever piles of garbage he can find.

“You know, your ablution chamber would be pretty huge if you didn’t have piles of shit everywhere. Try cleaning up after yourself sometime.”

“Karkat, the best cases are held in my bathroom.” You try to stress the word to show disapproval for his fancy low-blooded terms. “It’s where Professor Plumberry Punch finally admitted to murdering BerrySpikes. You can’t just get rid of that memory!” With the best maniacal giggle you can manage with a stuffed-up nose, you add, “His delicious grape blood is still on the wall.”

At that point, Karkat must have glanced at the wall, because you hear him audibly groan. “Terezi, what even is that?”

“Blood. Duh! I just told you.”

“Whatever. Look, I’m going to go to Kanaya’s block and ask for some toilet paper. You don’t seem to have any, which is really fucking creepy.”

You giggle a little.

“No, seriously, Terezi. I’m rethinking everything I thought I knew about you. I have so many unanswered questions that I’m afraid to know the answer to.”

“You know what they say—“

“I don’t want to know what they say. I’ll be back as soon as I can.”

As soon as he’s out of the room, you let out a big bubble of laughter that you’d been holding in. You had at least three rolls of toilet paper stashed behind your toilet.

After growing impatient with waiting for him, you head over to the bathroom door and lock it. Then, you slip off your bloodied shirt and fasten your robe tightly around your waist. There, that was one less problem for you to worry about.

Karkat returned about fifteen minutes later. Turns out no one could lend him any toilet paper, so he had to ask Dave, and that lead to a horrendous amount of teasing. He told you the story as he tossed two or three rolls on the floor and cleaned your face up a little.

“So yeah, thanks to you, he’s going to call me that for the rest of our lives, I think.”

“At least it’s not as bad as that one name he had for you. Remember that? When Gamzee pulled your pants down during a heartfelt, leader-to-friends speech, and Dave got us all to call you Karkat Vantass for a whole month?”

“Of course I remember that.”

“If it had to be anyone, I’m glad it was you. Most people get a little more defensive about Dave’s teasing than you do.”

“I usually just guess that it could’ve been worse. That keeps me thinking positively.” As he’s talking, you hear him shuffling around with the paper in his hands.

“What are you doing?”

“You’ll know in a second. Sit on the counter for me.”

You oblige, though somewhat wary. As he approaches you, you lightly kick at him with your feet.

“What was that for? I’m trying to help you, you know.”

You laugh a little. “I’m blind, dumbass. I can’t see where you are all the time.”

You both know that’s bullshit, because you can probably see better than Karkat can, but he can’t say anything because your nose isn’t working well right now.

“Whatever. Look, flare your nostrils for me.”

“Why?”

“Just do it.”

You do as he asks, and jump a little when he shoves something into one of your nostrils, then the other.

“There. That should stop the bleeding without ruining your shirt more.”

“Thanks.”

“Don’t mention it. Do you think you can walk yourself to your couch or something?”

You forgot all about your dream from the night before and were currently remembering how cute Karkat Vantas is. He’s so tough and sharp on the outside, but as soon as someone needs him, he softens up. You’ve noticed that he’s usually extra soft around you when you need him to be.

“Karkat?”

“What?” The softness in your voice must have surprised him. He sounded concerned.

You grin. “You’re a big softie.”

You’re pretty sure you killed his soft demeanor. You stabbed it with your cane, right through the heart. It’s never coming back. “You know what? I’m sure you can get to the couch on your own. Fuck you, I’m leaving.”

“I was kidding! Geez, you’re anything but soft.” The tip to dealing with men was to just let them believe what they wanted to. “Now, will you escort me to my couch, Mr. Vantas?”

A heavy sigh precedes his answer. “Fine.”

You take his arm and he leads you to your couch, only to find that there’s a makeshift courtroom set up on it and the surrounding floor. Karkat seems pretty annoyed.

“What am I supposed to do with you now? You need somewhere to rest when you’re sick or else it’ll get worse.”

“Hmmm.. You know, I seem to recall that you have a couch.” A small giggle followed your suggestion.

“I guess that would work, but before we go anywhere near your block, we need to set up some sick rules.”

As he leads you out of your block and towards his, the two of you establish the rules and you cough every now and then to make it seem like you really are sick. You’ve kind of gotten yourself into a mess here, but Karkat is in a surprisingly good mood today so you decide to just go with it. You can figure out an excuse later.

Karkat lets you into his block and leads you to his bathroom so you can take the paper out of your nose. Then, he takes you to the couch and brings you some pillows. 

“Do you need anything?”

“Nope, I’m good. Thanks.”

“Alright, I guess. Yell if you need me.”

With that, Karkat was gone and you were alone on his couch with a fictitious cold. Even though you’ve only been up for about an hour, maybe an hour and a half, your day has been so exhausting so far that you feel yourself dozing off pretty quickly.


End file.
